For Couples
On the Brink.
If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that's the best path, you are in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is designed for you.
It's a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage.
One person is considering leaving the relationship and isn't sure regular marriage counseling would help.
The other person is interested in rebuilding and restoring the marriage.
Discernment Counseling is a different approach for couples starting from these different places.
Clarity Before
Commitment.
The counselor will help you decide whether to maintain the status quo for the time being, move toward separation or divorce, or make an all-out effort to restore your marriage through couples therapy.
The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
The goal is not to solve your marital problems. The goal is to see if they are solvable.
Exploring What
Comes Next.
Discernment Counseling helps couples gain greater clarity about which of three possible paths feels right for their relationship.
Status Quo
Continue the relationship as it currently is, while putting both divorce and intensive couples therapy on hold for the time being.
End the Relationship
Move forward with separation or divorce after a process of thoughtful reflection and greater clarity about the relationship.
Restore the Marriage
Commit to six months of couples therapy, with divorce taken off the table while both partners work on their individual contributions to the relationship.
That's exactly what Discernment Counseling is designed to help you explore.
You don't need to have the answer before reaching out. The goal is to gain greater clarity about what comes next.
Compassion and Respect,
Wherever You Are.
You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.
You will come in as a couple, but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.
The counselor respects your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
The counselor emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions.
This understanding can be useful in future relationships, even if this relationship ends.
Session Details
Up to Five Sessions
After each session, both individuals will decide if they would like to have an additional session or if they have enough clarity to make their decision.
Extended Sessions
The first session is usually two hours for assessment. Subsequent sessions are typically 1.5 or 2 hours.
$150 Per Session
Due to the extended length of sessions, the standard fee is $150 per session for a maximum of five sessions.
Discernment Counseling
Is Not Suited For:
When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce.
When one spouse is coercing the other to participate.
When there is danger of domestic violence.
Certified Discernment Counselors
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Micah Kobayashi
Co-Founder of Hawaii Therapeutic Partners and Licensed MFT
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Colin Moore
Co-Founder of Hawaii Therapeutic Partners and Licensed MFT
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Daniel Chow
Co-Founder of Hawaii Therapeutic Partners and Licensed MFT
Start With a
Conversation.
If you feel that Discernment Counseling might be right for your situation, please complete the form and one of our therapists will contact you to do a free consultation with each of you.
Explore the Video Quiz
If you're not sure yet, or want to find out more, we have a “video quiz” you can go through to better understand where you might be.
Go to the Quiz →