Daniel Chow, MS, LMFT

An LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) is trained to work with the emotional and relational patterns that shape how we think, feel, and connect with others. Unlike psychiatrists, LMFTs do not prescribe medication. Unlike psychologists, who often focus on assessment and diagnosis, LMFTs are specifically trained in relationship systems — meaning Daniel looks not just at the individual, but at how your relationships, family history, and life context are shaping your experience. If you're looking for talk therapy focused on real, lasting change in how you feel and relate to others, an LMFT is often the right fit.

The first session is mostly a conversation — Daniel will share more about the therapeutic process, ask more details about what brought you in, what's been going on in your life, and what you're hoping to get out of therapy. You won't be expected to have everything figured out or know exactly what your "goals" are. He’ll also give you a chance to get a feel for whether working together feels like a good fit and ask for you to share any feedback on how you’re feeling. There's no pressure, and nothing you share will be judged.

For individual therapy, Daniel primarily uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which focuses on helping you clarify your values, reduce the grip of difficult thoughts and emotions, and take meaningful action in your life — rather than simply trying to eliminate discomfort. Another important approach Daniel uses especially with individuals is Internal Family Systems (IFS), which meshes well with ACT to gain a deeper understanding of your emotional “parts” and change your relationship with them from adversarial or avoidant to one of confident leadership. For couples, he draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), an attachment-based approach that helps partners understand the emotional cycles driving their conflict and rebuild secure connection. The approach isn't one-size-fits-all — Daniel adapts based on what you're working on and what resonates with you.

The therapeutic relationship is a key part of the process, and being able to connect with your therapist is important. Daniel has a calm, grounded personality and pays close attention to details. He provides a balance of empathy with holding people accountable for the changes they want to make for themselves.

Yes, and it's an area he's particularly attentive to. Men often face cultural pressure to handle things on their own and may feel uncertain about what therapy actually looks like or whether it's "for them." Daniel creates a safe environment where you can just show up as you are and learn more about yourself without judgement.

Yes. Daniel grew up in Hawaiʻi and understands the cultural nuances that shape how people here experience family expectations, identity, stress, and relationships. He is comfortable working with clients from diverse ethnic and cultural backgrounds and recognizes that cultural context matters in therapy — it affects everything from how we talk about emotions to what "asking for help" means in a family. He also understands that culture is a unique individual experience and not everyone’s is the same.

Daniel accepts all HMSA plans — HMO, PPO, and QUEST. Your copay will depend on your specific plan. For those without HMSA coverage, his self-pay rate is $130 per session. If you have a different insurance provider, out-of-network reimbursement may be available — meaning you pay upfront and submit a claim to your insurer for partial reimbursement. Contact the office if you'd like help figuring out your options.

Yes, it can with some qualifiers. In order for insurance to cover any services, there must be a medical diagnosis for an “identified client.” What this means for couples therapy is that one of you must be experiencing some level of distress or have some type of symptoms related to anxiety or depression for example. In practice, we view the couple as a complete system, not just one person being the problem, but this is part of the requirement of working with insurance.

Yes, Daniel offers telehealth sessions for clients anywhere in Hawaiʻi, in addition to in-person appointments at the Honolulu office. Many clients find telehealth just as effective as in-person therapy, and it's a good option if you have a busy schedule, live on a neighbor island, or simply prefer meeting from home. For online couple’s counseling, Daniel recommends you do both join from the same space rather than different devices.

Discernment counseling is a short-term process designed specifically for couples where one or both partners are uncertain whether they want to stay in the marriage and are considering divorce. Unlike couples therapy, which starts with the assumption that both people are equally committed to working toward improving the relationship, discernment counseling honors each individual’s uncertainty and helps each person gain clarity and confidence about which direction they want to go — staying and committing to change, separating, or taking more time to decide. Daniel is certified in discernment counseling and it typically runs between one and five sessions.

This is more common than people think. If your partner isn't ready or willing to attend, Daniel can still work with you individually on the relationship — helping you understand your own patterns, communicate more effectively, and decide how you want to move forward. If the changes you make on your own cause your partner to reconsider and open up to the idea of couples therapy, a different therapist can take on the role of couple’s therapist to allow an even playing field for both of you while Daniel can continue to support your efforts individually.

Not at all. Many of clients come in not because something catastrophic has happened, but because they feel stuck, want to understand themselves better, or sense that their relationship could be stronger. Therapy is just as useful for growth and clarity as it is for crisis. If anything, starting before things reach a breaking point tends to make the work faster and more effective.